I Identify as a Christmas Tree (And Other Funny Christmas Sweatshirts You’re Googling)

Ever type something into Google and think, “Wow, if anyone saw this, I’d simply evaporate”?

Good news: you’re not alone. I’ve seen the search terms—and at DJ’s GiggleWear, we turned them into actual sweatshirts.

According to Google Search Console, people are already finding us with phrases like “I identify as a Christmas tree lit on the outside”, “without your friends you’re just a ho”, and “dj christmas sweater.” So instead of guessing what designs people want, we’re doing something better:

We’re literally printing your chaos onto cozy holiday sweatshirts.

“I Identify as a Christmas Tree Lit on the Outside”

This one is the current MVP of your search results.

People aren’t just searching “I identify as a Christmas tree”—they’re searching “I identify as a Christmas tree lit on the outside.” That’s oddly specific, delightfully unhinged, and honestly… kind of relatable.

In the shop, our “I Identify as a Christmas Tree” design leans into that exact energy:

• Bright, cheerful design that looks good on classic Christmas colors.

• A cozy sweatshirt that says “Yes, I am decorative and emotionally unstable, thanks for asking.”

• Perfect for holiday parties, office gift exchanges, and any event where you’d rather be a tree than a person.

If you’ve ever felt over-decorated and under-caffeinated, this is your holiday uniform.

“Without Your Friends You’re Just a Ho”

Another phrase Google keeps showing for DJ’s GiggleWear?
“Without your friends you’re just a ho.”

Brutally accurate. Deeply festive.

Our “Holiday Friends / Without Your Friends You’re Just a Ho” sweatshirt celebrates the one thing that actually makes the holidays fun: your chaotic little friend group.

• Great as a matching sweatshirt moment for your crew.

• Funny without being mean-spirited—it’s all about your people.

• Shows up in search with a great ranking already; now we’re helping Google (and humans) connect the dots with this blog.

If you and your friends survive December together, you deserve this sweatshirt.

For the People Typing “DJ Christmas Sweater” into Google

First of all: thank you.

Search Console says people are literally looking up “dj christmas sweater” to find us. That means:

• You remember the brand.

• You’re ready for a funny holiday design.

• You just need an easy way to get to the right page.

Consider this your shortcut.

Head to our Holiday / Funny Christmas collection, and you’ll find:

• The “I Identify as a Christmas Tree” sweatshirt

• The “Without Your Friends You’re Just a Ho” sweatshirt

• Other designs like “Ho Ho No” and more “most likely to…” chaos

Basically, if you can imagine it on an ugly sweater, we’ve tried to make a version that’s actually cute and wearable.

Why Google Data Is Choosing Your Next Holiday Sweatshirt

Here’s the fun part: this entire post is based on real Google search data.

• We saw which phrases got the most impressions.

• We watched which designs people actually clicked.

• Then we built this guide so you can find what you were already secretly looking for.

If you landed here from a search like “i identify as a christmas tree”, “without your friends you’re just a ho sweatshirt”, or “funny christmas sweatshirts”, congratulations—you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be.

Ready to Wear Your Search History?

If your holiday vibe is:

• Slightly unhinged

• Accidentally honest

• Equal parts festive and feral

…then these sweatshirts were basically made for you.

👉 Start with these favorites:

• “I Identify as a Christmas Tree Lit on the Outside” sweatshirt

• “Without Your Friends You’re Just a Ho” holiday friends sweatshirt

• Your go-to picks from the Funny Christmas / Holiday collection

Dress like the search result you are.